I watched Hidden Figures and it touched my soul! My damn soul! I was inspired by these women who society had decided weren’t “good enough” or “as good as” and they changed history. They were aware of their situation, surroundings what people were doing and saying to keep them down. They buckled down stayed focused and through their actions, not their words, they proved to this raggedy, ungrateful country the value of a woman, a black woman!
The next morning I put Electric Lady on repeat, took my Twist Set down and fixed my hair cut ( I left one side too long) when I looked in the mirror my insides felt like they matched my outside. I looked in the mirror like, “hey girl, where you been? I’ve been looking for you! Bring yourself we’re late.”
I’ve found my look and it’s crazy because I have a lot of clients coming to me wanting me to do this for them and I can’t. You have to decide who you are and how that person looks. Your style is your nonverbal introduction and I just can’t be held emotionally responsible for who you want to be. I don’t know you like that and just because I think its cute doesn’t mean you will. I love my short hair cut, some men will find me less attractive with my hair short. Great! I’m not a long hair girl even though I can grow it doesn’t mean I like it, it’s hot on my neck and my ears! Men who like long hair should be with women who like having all that hair. Besides, we know women get dressed for each other and my girlfriends love my hair short and pink.
Seven Easters ago I found out I had chosen to create a brand new life however the life that was forming inside my belly was only the tip of the iceberg, and it truly was all I could see. I was going to break my body, bleed and slave to have this new life, I had no idea what I was in for but I don’t back away from challenges. So much of my new life was deep under the surface of the murky waters of my mind and it isn’t what I thought it would be, it’s not how anyone told me it would be. Prince Charming was actually a princess that came out of my own vagina. Go figure! My help came from within!
I had lost myself, not all at once a little bit at a time. I chose to turn around and go backwards to pick up all the pieces of that little girl I had been and loved, but because no one else did I let her fall to the way side by ignoring her, shushing her and trying to look and be what I was “supposed to”. In order to save her I let go of ideals, expectations, lovers, friends and family members and it hurt like hell, it hurt so bad but now my hands are open to receive the happiness, respect/love and support of new lovers, new friends and new family members without expectations at all. Respect should be synonymous with love, respect/love yourself and others will follow. By being true to who you really are without apology or explanation you give yourself the freedom to decide what you will and will not accept from life.
- Eyes on your own paper
- Stay in your lane
- Do what makes you happy
It’s that easy. Keep it simple.